Just me ranting

It’s been months

That’s the thing about mental illness. I have the best intentions, I always have ideas and things I want to do. Make. Achieve. And then I just can’t… Wait let me phrase that, I can. I just need to find my way back. I’ve spent this summer so far traveling for my sons football gamesContinue reading “It’s been months”

Pardon me but…

Fuck this. I’m sorry, a little harsh? I’ve been having a hell of a go at it (Here is where Matilda says “you’re alwaayysss having a hell of a go at it”). But, honestly, losing our dog threw me off course. Tremendously. I was already sliding in a downward motion because… Bi-Polar. Losing My MooseContinue reading “Pardon me but…”

3.24.2021

Today is the first virtual support group. And today I woke up at the bottom end of a depressive slide. Yup. My mood has dropped, I’m in a depressive cycle. I could feel it happening, in fact I tried all my tools to prevent it. The mornings were the most telling or the fact thatContinue reading “3.24.2021”

3.22.2021

I woke up today and instantly wanted to go back to bed…before I even left it. For the trillionth morning in a row (that’s how it feels) I’ve woken up with my feet swollen, face puffy and on body fire. My body aches are back and my mood is blah. Yeah. It’s one of thoseContinue reading “3.22.2021”

Progress

Have I mentioned that PC (Progressive Counting) is deep? I don’t think I realllyyyy realized how this was going to work, the effects it would have on my body and my trauma. As spiritual as I am, as open minded as I am, I still have Matilda in me. That small part that says “ThisContinue reading “Progress”

Medusa

We have all heard of or seen a picture of Medusa. The beautiful snake haired woman known to turn you to stone with a simple glance. A monster. Something we may even fear. Is she all we think she is? What made her this way? Legend is told that Medusa was a Priestess in Athena’sContinue reading “Medusa”

1.26.2021

It’s snowing outside, and it’s bitterly cold. But tonight I have therapy. All day I have been thinking about my next Progressive Counting session and the memory we are going to process. The snow however has offered a bit of a relief. Today we will be virtual and that’s okay with me. Today, yesterday andContinue reading “1.26.2021”

Anastasia

If there is anyone reading this… do you remember what it was like being ehhh anywhere between say 13-15 yrs old? That time period of an intense emotional roll coaster. Filled with angst, anger, confusion and pure rebellion. Anyone? Anastasia, (who is still a bit of a mystery,) is my teen alter. I’m currently guessingContinue reading “Anastasia”

Another one….

Oh hey guys! These weeks have been a bit rough. But I am here.. (it feels like most weeks are rough these days. For everyone I know) I’d like to offer up my next Alter. The one I fear has been causing this depressive episode. Stay tuned because today I’m going to tell you whatContinue reading “Another one….”

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